Should You Change?

I don’t know if you have seen my picture on Instagram yet, but this is the hairstyle I have been rocking. I call it my Wisdom Hair.

white hair

My parents laughed when they saw it. No words…they just burst out in laughter.

Everybody has something to say about the hair.

“Oh Stephanie, you are so bold”

“I guess you have to have a certain type of personality to wear this hair”

“I love it, where can I get it”

“Stephanie, it is well with you oh….White!!!”

These responses make me laugh, but the responses from my close friends are priceless.

“But Stephanie, This is not you”

Of course it is not the me you used to know…I’ve Changed!!!

The problem with change however is that…when people change, nobody sees it.

It’s an internal process.

Except it’s a weight loss program, people still look the same.

To a large extent, nothing on the outside changes.

The only thing that will make you realize that they have changed is by the actions they start taking.

That’s when it dawns on you, that they have changed.

You will be wondering… “ah ah? Is this not the person I used to know?”

Not Quite.

Change has happened, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

I made a conscious decision to change.

I write a lot about how I used to be very shy, and now nobody can imagine how Stephanie can be shy.

I used to have confidence issues.

I had low self esteem.

If you knew me 10 years ago, it would be very difficult to explain the new Steph.

Now this is the interesting part, if you knew me a year ago, I’m completely different now.

A lot can change in one year.

I’m changing rapidly, and in the next one year…you are going to see a different Steph.

I know that most times, people think that change is bad…but you can be changing for the better.

2016 is here.

You have gone around this mountain for too long, it’s time to change something.

One major step is to question what you are currently doing?

Is it really the best way of doing things?

For a long time, I used to ask my hairdresser to make my hair with side parting.

Since as way back as I can remember, it has always been side parting.

Some months ago, my hair dresser (Victoria: 0802 216 5607) asked me to change my hair style.

I argued…no oh, it is only Side Parting that fits me.

She said, let’s just try it.

Luckily for me, I listened.

This was the result.

Steph Obi

I almost fainted when I saw myself in the mirror.

A day to my Start Your Online Business Workshop, I still had not found the perfect outfit.

I called my makeup artist, Shalom (@shalzmakeupgeek) and as I was talking to her, I mentioned how I was still looking for a white dress.

She said, maybe you should try another colour.

“Haaa!!! There are certain colours that fit me”

“Stephanie, I don’t believe that, you can be fabulous in any colour. Go and look for a yellow dress”

Ok…I listened.

I called another friend, Tomi ( who went with me to boutiques in Lekki Phase 1.

We went from shop to shop, no white dress, no yellow dress.

After going to 4 shops, I finally found a yellow dress in the 5th store.

I saw it, and then I freaked out.

“Tomi, I don’t think I can wear this, it’s too loud, I’m not the kind of person who wears this colour”

Tomi said to me, “Stephanie, you cannot be restricting yourself like this. Try new things, how will you know what will look nice, if you don’t try new things?”

I listened, and this was the final result.


Face beat by Shalom (@shalzmakeupgeek)

After the workshop, one of the participants, Abimbola (Purple_Sash) sent me a gift. She gave me three packs of white and black hair.


I looked at the hair, not sure of what to say. Lol.

I called her to say thank you, and then I asked, please what am I going to do with this hair?


She said, “You can fix it, braid it, anything you like”

I looked at it … White Hair!

I was still thinking about what I was going to do with the hair, I am a “Colour 1” kinda girl, but then I asked myself…what’s going to happen if I make this hair?


Nothing will happen.

Will I lose business? Nope.

I had two live business strategy sessions this week, and I was wearing this white hair

The reason I shared this story with you is because these experiences made me realise how much I have been limiting myself, without even realising it.

They reminded me that I can do anything I want to do, no matter how outrageous it might sound…and nothing (and nobody) can stop me, the only thing stopping me is me.

It holds true for you too.

The only thing stopping you, is you…and the excuses you tell yourself.

I found this image online, and I really like it.


One thing is certain, we are all going to die someday.

If you like, say “God Forbid”

Lol…we are all going to die someday. That is a constant, we can’t change it.

The only thing we can control is what we do between the time we were born and the time we die.

How we live is entirely up to us.

If you want to live an average life, it’s up to you.

If you want to live a life that people will refer to even after you are dead, it’s also up to you.

It’s actually a decision.

There is no such thing as “This is how I am”

We are all born a certain way (everybody has baggages, nobody is perfect), and we are all on a journey to become who we want to be (whether it’s an average life or an amazing life).

This is why people who are going somewhere change.

You just have to change or else it’s insanity to expect to become something else when you are still doing the old things.


My big question to you today is this.

Who do you want to be by December 31st, 2016.

Please tell me who you want to be in the comments below.

I’m hosting a Vision Board Online Party on the 31st of December, 2015. This is a critical step on your journey to becoming this amazing new person.

You cannot become what you have not seen.


The invitation is only for email subscribers. If you are not on the list, please subscribe using any of the boxes on the website.

Please share this post with your friends and on Social Media.

With Love,


  • Chiagozie

    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    Thanks Steph! I really really want to be a writer(apart from designing clothes, bags and jewelry). I compete yearly in writing competitions,I’ve sent out manuscripts that were turned down but I WILL NEVER give up!

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 2, 2016

      Hmm…maybe you should think about it this way. What problem can my writing gift solve? I am a writer too, infact I’m writing my first book, and I write this blog every Wednesday…however I’m focused on solving a problem. I took my destiny in my own hands and I’m not waiting for anyone to take my manuscript

  • Jenny Chisom

    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    Steph, I actually will like to meet you before 2015 rolls by and I came all the way from Abuja to ensure that happens. *smile*
    For 2016, I want to have built my 5 year business up to be able to have an office location and functioning fully with competent staff. It boils down to making money strategically. I also want to have built my PR business via my 2 blogs – and having real paying clients/products. I want to be married before June 2016 and want to travel the world. These are not wishes but plans I want to change into. I trust to learn more at the party tomorrow! Yippeee!

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 2, 2016

      Awesome, Awesome. Welldone Chisom.

      It’s not me you came to Lagos to see oh, See how you are whining me. If it was me, you would have sent me an email to tell me you were coming and we would have worked on an appointment. Lol.

      On a serious note though, I love your dreams, the party will help you actualize them

  • abimbola

    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    See me up there,hahahahah,!things must change about my biz n marriage,more money more happiness more fulfillment amen

    • Bukola

      Reply Reply December 31, 2015

      proud of ya dear…. i see ya….it def will change

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 2, 2016

      Yes ohhhhhhhhh

  • temi

    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    I am really excited about this.i won’t miss it.steph,i love retail business,i love creativity(handwork),i am beginning to see my self organising seminers for to encourage people become better esp in business. Way forward steph.i love your mails

  • adenike

    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    Hmmm, Stephen, that’s all I can do. Try new things. Do new things. Think new things. That’s for the encouragement girl. Please I sent you a mail, I haven’t gotten a response yet. Thank you.

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 2, 2016

      Didn’t see it oh. Please resend

  • Grace Festus

    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    Ha Steph, I tried something different in December. I had a touch of red in my braids. I almost screamed at my hairdresser when she gave the idea. I was scared of comments especially that of my Spouse. Weeks after I am extremely glad I added the touch of red. It gives a special glow to the hair do.
    2016… I look forward on starting a part time business alongside my full time job.
    I also look forward to releasing my abandoned audio book.
    So much more on my plates…I want to organise a better live seminar than I did last year.

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 2, 2016

      Awesome, Awesome. Excited to hear this

  • demilade

    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    I love your white hair!! It’s on my bucket list also, as soon as I’m under my own roof. 😁

    By 31st December, I want to be one who dives into the pool first. Like at the pool of Bethsaida? I’ve been too calm and complacent. And this must change this year. Action, action, action lady. That’s who I want to be.

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 2, 2016

      Lol @ as soon as I’m under my own roof. It is well

  • Theodora

    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    By December 31st 2016, I want to be known as an IT professional so am focusing on building my IT career and business everyday of 2016. I am so looking forward to the Vision Board Online Party. Thanks Stephanie for being such an inspiration.

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 2, 2016

      Whoop! Whoop!!

  • Crystal_topz

    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    Oh Stephanie, it feels like you are inside my head. Lately, after my mum passed on, I’ve been thinking of how I’ve been restricting myself to suit what I think my family and friends expect of me. I’ve never fully expressed who I am on the inside. Now I’m reminded of the fact that we are Spirit, Soul and Body, and they all work together(Total Man Concept, lol).

    Inasmuch as we strive to be better in our Spirit and Soul we often neglect the physical (especially we spirikoko) and restrict ourselves to what we think is appropriate or expected of us based on Ill religious notions that have become part of our subconscious.

    Other times we do this because of the ill notions we’ve subconsciously formed about ourselves. Just as Marianne Williamsom said, “We ask ourselves, ‘who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?”. That’s no 1 on my favorite quotes list and it reminds me of you Steph… cos u have liberated me from my fear.

    PS: I can’t wait to see the new you

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 2, 2016

      Very happy about this moment of realization, Tope. You are 100% correct. I hope you take action now.


    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    Loving this write up,honstly I have been the quit type as in sticking in one thing, afraid of change sometimes. I pray God help me this coming year. Stephanie your mail is always encouraging

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 2, 2016

      So happy it helps

  • Makas

    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    Lovely post! Please ma, what if you’re in a location where you don’t have access to magazines any alternative?

  • Makas

    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    Lovely post! Please ma, what if you’re in a location where you don’t have access to magazines any alternative?

    • Crystal_topz

      Reply Reply January 3, 2016

      Makas, I feel u. You can get them online and print them out.

  • Biodun

    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    Beautiful post. I am looking forward to Vision Board Party online. I have to set alarm!!
    By 12/31/2016, I want to know I did everything I possibly could to positively impact my life and others too. This construction business that I really desire to build must somehow happen. I want to have traveled to new places, meet new people, continually think positively and doing all that I can to enjoy my everyday life in God and with God not minding what other people think.
    Steph – all your pictures are gorgeous by the way.

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 2, 2016

      Nice, Nice, Nice

  • Eunice Daniel

    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    I always read ur emails n I feel glad u sent them,but ds,I mean ds hit me hard. I practically dropped my cup of lipton I wanted to just read n read. Aunty Steph, u knw dos kinda ppl who read d change d want to see in dem yet d don’t work it out? Dts me. I have lost count of how many times I have seen dt change in my head yet I havnt seen me leave it. Am 1 of does who need ds change cos as u have said it starts from inside dt means I should feel it but I don’t. Its time for me to see d change in me. I have been static,I need to build my self esteem I need change in all in n out. I wana work ds cos am sick of being ds old me in n out. God bless u real gud.

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 2, 2016

      Really happy about this Eunice. I hope you take action too

  • sola

    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    Tanks steph,always looking forward to your write ups,it fires me up to knw i can be better than this.looking forward to tmrw vision board pls i want to sign up dont want to miss it pls.2016 must work for me,must be a postive influence to my family,workers and does i ave contact with.cheers steph.

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 2, 2016

      Yes it will, The important part is to take action Sola. Take Action

  • Ime

    Reply Reply December 31, 2015

    Come 31st December,2016..i just want to me.
    Better,more focused,goal achieving,slimmer and healthier me!!

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 2, 2016

      Love this

  • Avore

    Reply Reply December 31, 2015

    Thank you steph for holding my hand in 2015. By the end of 2016, i want to have my ready to wear line fully functioning. I want to have a great relationship. I want to have traveled to 3 countries. I want to have given 1000000 through CSR. I want to meet Richard Branson and Mrs Awosika. Im willing to work at it.

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 2, 2016

      Awesome Avore, I love this clarity

  • Uju

    Reply Reply December 31, 2015

    Steph has the right words for the right time. Change is how I define it for myself, it is a personal decision.

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 2, 2016

      Yup, yup, yup…it’s a very personal decision

  • Iyabo Oyawale

    Reply Reply January 4, 2016


    I enjoy your articles. I enjoy the authenticity you bring to bear on online business. I like the fact that you mention change as being an internal process. Truly so. Many people think they can change just by making an outward transformation. Nada. It’s not gonna happen. The change that is seen outside, first happened inside. Inside out, yea, that’s the name of the game.

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 5, 2016

      Thank youuuuuuuu

  • Iyabo Oyawale

    Reply Reply January 4, 2016

    That is one of the problems I have with people who make New Year resolutions. They talk about all the good things they want to do in the New Year but two weeks down the line, they give up. In fact, you can simply say they’ve ‘packed’ the car on their dreams and resolutions. They give you all kinds of excuses. They try to convince you that their dreams were too ‘lofty.’ But I dare say they’re not. The inward change hasn’t happened, so, an outward change becomes practically impossible. I give you a good example here. If I want to quit smoking, the change has to take place inside first, otherwise, I’d give up on the resolution (before I start at all). How would the inward change take place? I have to start seeing cigarettes in a bad light. I have to stop the ‘romance’ I have with smoking in my head. I have to see cigarettes as my enemy. Ihat way, it physically becomes something I just don’t want to associate with. And when the urge to smoke hits, I just bring back the picture of cigarette being bad and that helps through the crisis.

  • Adenike

    Reply Reply January 6, 2016

    This is exactly me. I’m happy I’m reading this. Thank you so much for sharing this great piece cos you just inspired someone. I was worse than this year’s before but I’m sure I will be much better this year. I have been listing new things I want to start doing this year to increase my confidence and to take me to where I want to be.

    By the end of this year by His grace, I want to be a great public speaker. This has been challenging for me, I’ve messed up several times. This is the determinant for my next phase in life. I will surely achieve it.

    Love your site and love what you do. I hope to meet you someday.

  • Skinnybrownie

    Reply Reply January 6, 2016

    I am reading this blog for the first time and i really am blown away.. I thought this was going to be another boring self empowerment blog, this is realistic and your choice of words carried me along, nothing too fancy.
    I am definitely going to read your book when it’s out.

    • Stephanie Obi

      Reply Reply January 6, 2016


  • Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)

    Reply Reply January 7, 2016

    In the past years, i’ve been either a shy fellow or bottling some hidden treasure, failure, secrets. But recently something had changed about me positively or probably am the one that changed something.
    I now act freely, speaks out my mind, live jovially, do things i was reluctant to do before. Although the change ain’t complete yet but am looking forward to more.
    Indeed the feeling of Change is Super Good!
    Happy New Year Steph

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